On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
