Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
