You can't motorboat a personality
this beer tastes like vomit already
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
