I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I can't turn off my feet"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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