Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
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you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
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I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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