Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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