It's Friday. Sex?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We left an ass print on the piano.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
