My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
