I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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