Im at strip club and am horny
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
