The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
They took my balls.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He did a backflip because drugs
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
