I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
