I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
