here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize