Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
