Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
