Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
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To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
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I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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