I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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