dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
