i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
