We tried having a conversation with our noses.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
