508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
