I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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