Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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