Plan B is the new Plan A
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
