Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
