i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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