brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
