i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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