Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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