was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So vagazzling was a success
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
