I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
