How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
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I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
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I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .