somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner