he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
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He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk