Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right