your parents love me but you hate me
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.