I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
