So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
