Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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