My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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