I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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