So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
