I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
