thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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