dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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