It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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