pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
