I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Damn victory sex feels great
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
