yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
