she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
