I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
