You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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