I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Even my vagina gasped.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
