i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize