I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
