your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The beer is more important than you right now.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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