I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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