i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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