Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The uberlube is also flammable
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
