If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
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when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
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Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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