Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
