Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
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There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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