would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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