How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
