i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize