Quick, to the slutcave!
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
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btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
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I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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